Jesus or ice cream…

by Kimberly Johnson, LPC, LMHC

Forty-nine years ago, I surrendered my life to Jesus.

It was 1975 and I was seven years old.  Vacation Bible School was a big deal during the summer months.  I looked forward to getting out from under my “mean” babysitter on the corner who served us grape Kool-Aid with lunch.  I couldn’t wait to be with my friends from church and be free to play and make crafts.

The day was Friday, the last day of VBS and the day the best snack was served after chapel.  This particular year it was ice cream. 

Let me set the stage for you in 1975.  I didn’t grow up in the world in which my children have grown up.  My family would have been considered poor-ish.  We rarely went out to eat, not even fast food.  My mom cooked most of our meals which consisted of meat, a potato, and a vegetable.  I brought Lebanon bologna sandwiches to school.  We never had cans of coke (what some of you may refer to as pop or soda) in our house.  Candy was scarce except on Halloween.  Occasionally my mom would give me a dime to get a Screwball from the Ice-Cream Truck (A Screwball is a sherbert in a clear cone shaped plastic cup with a piece of bubblegum at the bottom – yum!).  Sooo, getting free ice cream after chapel was a big deal to me!

Well, here I am in the church pew during chapel.  I am imagining the delicious, creamy sweetness that I am about to taste.  I am thinking how I can exit chapel in a way that will put me toward the front of the line.  I am wondering what kinds of ice cream they are serving…sundaes, tubs of flavors with wooden stick spoons, or maybe even Screwballs!!

Suddenly, I hear these words like a bell ringing in my ears, “If any of you would like to learn more about following Jesus, just stay in your seats and someone will come talk to you.”  WHAT?!

Something is stirring inside me.  I think that this would be a good thing to do.  My stomach and my mouth are asking my head if I am CRAZY!  I am conflicted.  I want to learn more about following Jesus.  I want to get in line for ice cream.  My taste buds are screaming: “What if they run out of ice cream?  You need to get in line, even as close to the front as possible!  What if you get stuck with plain old vanilla?!”

It was at that moment that the battle over Who was going to rule my heart began.

I stayed.

Someone did come and talk to me about sin, confession, repentance, and following Jesus.  The only One who could save me from myself.  The God Who came, and lived, and died, and rose again, and taught and loved so that I could have a different life and a different Home.  At that moment, in my very young heart, I surrendered my life to a Love that has never failed me.

Recently we sang about this in church:

“All to Jesus I surrender; All to Him I freely give; I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live.”

Forty-nine years ago, and I still wrestle with surrender.

I want to want to surrender all.  But the reality is that I don’t.

This past week I out-right lied to someone for 25 buckaroos.  I still can’t believe that I did this.  If anyone were to ask me, “Kimberly would you give up your value on telling the truth for $25?”  I would have laughed in their face.  “No way!”  But I did it.  It rolled off my tongue as easy as a hot knife cutting through soft butter.

It doesn’t matter that I can justify why it was not a big deal.  It doesn’t matter that the lie doesn’t hurt anyone else.  To me, it revealed what I can do without Christ overseeing my heart.

I am immensely grateful that Jesus is a Savior that only asks one thing of me ~ “Come.”  The gospel is the most inclusive, non-oppressive, shame-free good news.

Come ~ with your murderous thoughts and your jealous heart.

Come~ with your unloving spirit and lack of kindness toward your neighbors.

Come~ with your anxieties and lies.

Come ~ with your addictions and impulses.

“Come to Me,” God says.  “I will untie the yoke that is strapped on your back.”

A mule cannot take off his own yoke.  Neither can we.  But there is Someone who can and deeply desires to do so.

All you need to do is come…or in my case, stay.

Who is going to rule your heart?  Jesus or Ice cream?